Valium or Cake?

People never seem to be quite happy enough. Everyone complains everyday, and if one were to just listen to the chatter of most humans, you would get the impression that life, for the most part, sucks. It's not my point to argue whether or not life sucks, or to tell people that they shouldn't complain, as it's a sign of poor character. Obviously, people have to live life as they choose, which means dealing with their own problems as they see fit. That often does include complaining. But, it can also be done by way of self-medicating. Millions, well probably billions of people turn to various substances and addictions to make their lives easier.

Personally, I often turn to food, poorly argued internet polemics (just browse various news sites and look for their commentary section and you will see what I mean) and to a lesser extent, video games. When it comes to food, I like many others end up really going for sweets. Sweets are simply amazing. I can't get over how simply enjoyable sweets are. There is no complexity, no argument, no problem at all. This is why cakes and candy do so well, as they are simply agreeable and pleasant without question.

Illegal and semi-legal drugs taken for recreational purposes are another common way for people to refocus and make life more livable. Things like Valium calm people down, and various other drugs work their own magics on the brain. They work simply and do what they ought to for the most part, so in a way they are like sweets, a simple trick to produce the desired effect and make the person taking them happy.

Today I've been taking a big box of expired pharmaceuticals from a long-dead clinical project (think 1994, when I was 9 years old and finishing up third grade.) This is a very nasty little project, as it contains a number of highly controlled substances, specifically Valium, Adrenaline, etc. These things, even when expired require a certain degree of extra-effort and know-how to properly process, and are really a bit of a hassle. That said, it's been somewhat grueling work, due to the nature of the Haz-Mat room that I'm working in, it's cramped and I'm not using proper body mechanics.

In the box I've found more Valium than was reported on the manifest. The strange thing about it is that all of the bottles for Valium are not originally Valium bottles, but instead are originally from several other kinds of slightly less controlled substances, just with a Valium label slapped onto them. This concerns me, but I can't do anything about it until I bring it up with my health and safety officer, who is more or less my second boss at the Dental School.

So, while I was looking through the big box of controlled substances, I came upon a bottle of "Cake Mate." Cake Mate is a sort of prepackaged icing for cakes, meant to make decoration easier, and comes in small, several ounce tubes that look like travel sized toothpaste tubes. This little bottle, not hazardous at all, is still completely wasted, rendered as useless as the 13 year old Valium by the ravages of time. So, I guess in this situation, I don't even get to make the choice between Valium or Cake. The choice has already been ruined for me.